Control and Anger – Part II

I can control all of these factors, but I will become angry or less angry, or have other negative emotions in greater or lesser amounts when these expectations are not met, depending upon my conscious understanding of the subtleties of my expectations. In this case the need has a shorter cycle than the want, hence is more imperative. Fortunately, expectations can better be understood when we think of them as being either want based, or need based. In short, they and our reactions to them can be modified when you understand these critical aspects. Doing this neutralizes the impact of an unmet expectation. Doing this puts me firmly in control of my emotional reactions.

This is the second of a series of articles on control and anger. Please read the previous article (Part I) before reading this one. To continue with the discussion of wants vs. needs…
I can control all of these factors, but I will become angry or less angry, or have other negative emotions in greater or lesser amounts when these expectations are not met, depending upon my conscious understanding of the subtleties of my expectations. In this case the need has a shorter cycle than the want, hence is more imperative.

Continue reading “Control and Anger – Part II”

Cognitive Techniques for Anger Management – Part I

Here’s some cognitive techniques for anger management. Reduce your expectations by choice. Expect less and enjoy more. This is a decision, not a reaction. You are not turning off your reactivity, just changing how many reactions you need or want, and what makes you happier or not when you do. You have control over this, even if you are not used to thinking this way. Try it, and then practice. For example, try to not be so attached to what you think is right or wrong. While there are exceptions (traffic laws), most things in your life are not life and death, so you don’t need to over-react.

Here’s some cognitive techniques for anger management. Reduce your expectations by choice. Expect less and enjoy more. This is a decision, not a reaction. You are not turning off your reactivity, just changing how many reactions you need or want, and what makes you happier or not when you do. You have control over this, even if you are not used to thinking this way. Try it, and then practice. For example, try to not be so attached to what you think is right or wrong. While there are exceptions (traffic laws), most things in your life are not life and death, so you don’t need to over-react. Continue reading “Cognitive Techniques for Anger Management – Part I”